THE BIBLE FROM A CHILD'S POINT OF VIEW
Ask kids about the Bible and you will get some of the funniest,
and most profound answers.
(If any of these make sense – you might want to read your Bible more.)
Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree.
The First Commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.
A Christian should have only one spouse. This is called monotony.
Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night.
Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark.
The seventh commandment is: Thou shalt not admit adultery.
David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar.
He fought with the Finklesteins, a race of people who lived in Biblical times.
Solomon, one of David's sons, had 300 wives, and 700 porcupines.
Moses led the Hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread,
which is bread without any ingredients.
Moses died before he ever reached Texas.
Then Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol.
The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son
to stand still and he obeyed him.
Jesus was born because Mary had an immaculate contraption.
Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says to:
Do one to others before they do one to you.
“Prayer is just like talking to your mom and dad, except you are talking to God.”
“You can pray anytime. God likes to her from you a lot.”
“I know that I have sinned. But could you forgive me for all my sins,
and help me pass through the sixth grade?”
“I pray that me & Donny hook up! Thank you!”
“Thank you Lord for giving my dad back, temper and all.”
“Please help my grandpa!!!! Get out of the hospital!!!!
And please help him get well and out !!!!!!.”
“Lord, Why didn't you answer my prayers?
My pappy's dying and my family has already been through enough.”
“Thank you God for large and small miracles.”
What makes Children's prayers so special? They are honest.
They are not limited by conventional notions of how prayers should be structured and worded.
Children freely pray what they mean, and mean what they pray.
They can pray so honestly because they know:
"Jesus loves me, this I know, for the Bible tells me so."
If you have doubts or questions – Read your Bible – God does love you
and wants you to know it.
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